DILFBERT

FADE IN

INT. GAY CLUB - NIGHT

The camera follows a COUPLE and their friend, MYLES (all in their 30's) as they wend their way through the crowd and eventually find a spot to drink and talk. They're soon joined by another, slightly older COUPLE and their twinky companion, THE KID, who happens to be celebrating his 21st birthday that evening. Following a round of introductions and awkward conversation, THE KID turns to MYLES and hands him a marker and removes his own shirt.

THE KID

I want you to write on me. 

MYLES

Seriously? Like what?

THE KID

Anything you want. (wink)

With a slight eye roll, but grinning, MYLES writes "why am I writing this???" on THE KID's chest. Others take the opportunity to pen much more sexual things across THE KID's chest, back and torso. As the evening progresses, the other COUPLES wander off and leave MYLES and THE KID to talk alone. 

MYLES

This is kind of hilarious, but why do I feel like we're third wheels?

THE KID

Because we are. 

(grinning)

That's not so bad, right?

MYLES

I guess not. (long awkward pause)

MYLES and THE KID (simultaneously)

So...

MYLES

Sorry. Go on. 

THE KID

You should come back to my place.

MYLES

Aren't you crashing on LARRY and what's-his-name DAN's couch tonight? How is that supposed to work exactly? 

THE KID

I am staying with them tonight, but I'm not sleeping on the couch. They have a spare bedroom I always use when I'm in town. 

MYLES

Look, kid. I'm flattered, but I'm just here to hang with my friends. I'm sure you're a lot of fun, but I think I'm a little too old for you.

THE KID

(unfazed, steps into MYLES, speaks directly into his neck; lips barely grazing the skin)

Thank you, but I think I know what my type is. And

(bumping their crotches)

I think you're just the right age to handle this allll night. Tell me I'm wrong.

MYLES

You know; I've been down this road. I think I'm all set. Happy birthday, though, kid. 

(pats him on the shoulder as he walks past)

I'm going to find the other guys and say goodnight. 

THE KID catches up to MYLES in the stairwell.

THE KID

Hey, man. I think you're hot, handsome, whatever and just want to get to know you. If not tonight, then some other time. Can we start over?

(extends his hand)

I'm George. 

Not long in the tooth, just long

Young and full of, well, a LOT of guys' cum

23 year old creampie

And a MAN shall lead them

"I feel younger as I'm getting older..."

Seven Years: Amount of time it's been since I had a boyfriend.
Seven Minutes: Amount of time that's passed since I finished dinner.
Seven Pounds: Amount of weight I hope to gain :-)