Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Textual Healing

I found the note you slipped in my gym locker. You wrote:

We should talk fuck

So I'm calling...

Good girl gone really bad


Marz. Does this song kinda make you happy/sad, too?

Drake. I'd love to remake this video.

The Foreign Exchange. Kick off your "blues" (jeans).

Brandy. Do this. Please.

Semisonic. How many times did I drive back and forth between Durham, NC and DC with this album?

Polly Jean. I think you said, "I'm still dripping." 

Bird and the Bee. I fucking LOVE this version. Thank you, Montreal 2010.

BT. Nearly anything by him, but especially this song. I want to get blazed and fuck to this song played FULL BLAST inside one of those padded, centrifugal force rides at the fair.

Lifehouse. Yeah, I know. The relationship is kinda over if your ass is playing this, but still a bang worthy tune.

Jazmine Sullivan. I love this bitch's voice so much, I'd give her all kinds of dick for singing to me.

Michael Bolton. An obvious choice, but he does the shit justice.

'Ye. Don't let me get in MY (erogenous) zone, nikka.

Stereophonics. I would have gotten it on to this song in college...as well as now. Besides, I'm in love with Kelly Jones. I seem to love short, non-American-born, shit-starters.

No Doubt. This song reminds me of Instagram Sex - end of summer/beginning of fall, smoothed-out edges, diffuse lighting and billowy sheers up to the windows.

Joe. This Delicious Muthafucker is one of my favorite balladeers. This is the melody you play for your dude when he gets home at 7p from a long day at the office. He walks in wearing his suit jacket hooked over one finger, trousers fitting tight over that fat ass. You meet him at the door, kiss him on the lips, take his free hand and walk him over to the piano where two glasses of something good are sitting. Now sit your ass down and play this nice and slow.

Enrique Iglesias: This song is gangsta. Just puts it right out there. Love. It.

Soundcloud Artist: I'd like to film a different sex scene for each track.

Il Divo: GOD I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG! Carlos is my favorite hands down: face, curly hair, unbuttoned sexiness, voice. Jesus, that voice is so thick and powerful...I'm a little embarrassed to say this (so I'll do it online in front of the whole world [yeah, cause the whole world is reading this fucking blog - not]), but I would for real put the pussy on Carlos faster than he could say "injunction." Goddamn. With all that said, the only time I've ever screamed out "I want to have your babies" at a concert was seeing Jason Mraz. No lie. I did. C'mon now. You know I did.

I'll Big Spoon you during our nap, Jayce.

Guilty PleasureSquidbillies
Guilty Fact: I still have the musky smell of young, juicy Latin ass on my face from hours ago.
Guilty Confession: I love the smell of young, juicy Latin ass on my face from hours ago ;)

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