Because We're Gonna Die Jung

Living in the fast lane. See ya when ya crash, babe.

Ah, mortality truly breeds psychotherapy.

In addition to the both of us being born in '75, I feel a great deal of connection with Carl. What's 100 years among friends? He was a free-thinker unafraid to question, yet embraced religion, which requires blind faith. Then again, the single most compelling scene in Life of Pi  involves the line, "Thank you Vishnu for introducing me to Christ." An interesting life is a life marked by all kinds of experiences. I was raised Christian (have since disavowed religion), am drawn to the serenity of buddhism yet value the teachings of Marx. I get that Marxism is a sociopolitical ideology rather than a spiritual path, but I think that makes it all the more applicable.

I'm feeling very "Is That All There Is" about life in general these days. It's cool. It's just that we've all been doing the same shit and having the same issues since before Jesus. "Abraham begat Isaac; Isaac begat Jacob; Jacob begat Judas; and Judas became a very popular hit for Lady Gaga." So on and so on and so on...Even though humanity's tech advancements over the past 1,000 years are undeniably AWESOME, our basic need for society with all of its highly dramatic ordinariness is exactly the same. The incongruity of smart phones and bustles is of no consequence. Society ain't changed! Shakespeare isn't popular for his thematic originality; his works are renowned for reminding us that, once again, ain't shit changed.

With that in mind, there are a few historical figures, in addition to Carl J. and Jesus, with whom I'd love to have a year-long hedonistic, cannabis-fueled, philosophical brunch to discuss EVERYTHING from how exactly silk gets from the worm to a $3,000 sweater to bareback anal orgasms. Siddhartha, Picasso, Duke Ellington, Vermeer (Why so dark, bitch? I love it, though ~ Kisses), Gore Vidal, Mozart and Prince (what happens when you meet a Reincarnation of yourself?), B. Marley (presumably big dick AND weed?), Bayard Rustin and Rudolf Nuryev (hoes).

What type of personalities would they all have? What would their twitter hash tags be? Or their Radical Faerie names? Jesus strikes me as a Middle Eastern, gluten-free, vegan DJ type who'd never bring anything but BO to potluck, but would eat up all your damn hummus and corn chips and smoke up all your shit. (Damn. I'm a lot like Jesus. My mother will be proud to finally hear this.) Jesus' ass would keep getting invited though because he'd be ripped from all that skateboarding, hung to his thigh and conveniently "live and let live" in his views on sexuality. #lunchmilk(ing).

Shut up, Luke Bryan. (Sorry. Watching Ellen.)

I also imagine Gandhi to be the flamboyant perv friend who's always getting misquoted. What he probably said was "you've got to be the dick you want to receive in this world." Truer words, brother. Truer words.

I watched Idiocracy yet again this morning. If, after the movie, you've still got a little hope left for the future, please read Super Sad True Love Story: A Novel. That'll knock it right outta ya. We're all gonna die and not necessarily young, or even Jung for that matter. But it's gonna happen. Before it does, though, we'll have ever higher tech gadgets that make us exponentially dumber. But hey, at least we'll all be pretty, young and biologically engineered for eternal perfection with a libido that gets stronger with age. I guess I can live with that. What could possibly go wrong? (Logan's Run, Gattaca, The Third Reich, Brazil the movie!)

Still, there's the bright side. I remember the product tagline, "you can't add more years to your life, but you can add more life to your years." Perfect. I am comforted by this. It's all going to end some day, somehow, no matter what. So let's enjoy this shit. I don't mind the idea of extending my life an extra 50 or 100 years beyond expectancy, but not at the expense of looking...old! I only want this if I can actually be 150 and still look 35. But getting older just to have more and longer-lasting health problems? Pass. I'm a firm believer that a healthy sex life is an important part of staying young. I know. Surprise. Or to put it a simpler way: Fucking is the best way to stay fuckable. I mentioned it here way back, but my sexual connection with the energy worker in Montreal CHANGED MY LIFE! Not to pop my own sexual collar, but (((POP))) sometimes even the shaman has to go for a tune up. Two words: Bubble. Butt. Two more words: All. Night. "New world needs spi-ri-tu-a-li-ty that will last. I've seen the future..." And I nutted in it.

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Boy, you'll be the death of me. You're my James Dean. You make me feel like I'm seventeen. Drive too fast; smoke too much. But that don't mean a thing 'cuz I'm addicted to the rush. And I'd rather die young than live my life without you.
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Scene Partners: An Unholy Trinity

This is real. I live off the blue line.

Um...

I'm performing here March 23rd.